The Weight of a Baby

When you find that perfect someone that you know completes you, knows the best and the worst of you, and still loves you, that is a great day. You get married and it's off to the honeymoon. As a couple with no kids, you go to the movies, travel, hang out with friends, and learn to take in as much of each other as you can. Years go by and together you decide that your life would be even more complete, even more perfect, if you started a family. Your parents want to be grandparents, your friends are having babies, and you know that now is the time. You try, and try, try, and try. People ask. People don't ask. -The weight of a baby.

You begin to lose hope, and then it happens. You get the message, you start seeing the signs, you schedule the appointment, and you finally see the perfect little nugget of you and your beloved. You are fine - the baby is fine. You eat healthy most of the time, you try not to fall into the "eating for two" but those Dairy Queen Blizzards are hard to resist - the weight of a baby.

Months go by, your belly swells, joy soars, nerves kick in, and the time finally arrives. It's a rough go, but your body is made to do this. Love surrounds you and he finally arrives. A sigh of relief, the tears fall, and he's placed on your chest - your heart couldn't feel any bigger - the weight of a baby

He's 5 months old, he needs to take a nap, and you start rocking. You smell the top of his head, let your lips linger to savor the warmth, and you feel his body relax. And you rock. And you wait a little longer to put him to bed, because you love the weight of his body on yours - the weight of a baby. 

We have bad days, most are good. Mothers are the worst critics of themselves. Each day, I know that I could have, should have done a better job. Not for me, but for them. Then a few moments in a rocking chair and all is right with the world.

Our New Home

Here we go kids. This moving business is getting real, and real fast. We have four weeks to go and let me tell you, I have no idea how we will get it all done. The problem is that we can't really pack anything. The movers will be here the day after Christmas (Eeek) and because of insurance purposes they have to pack it themselves. Trust me, there are several junk drawers around here that are not for the faint at heart. So I sit here, and the tree is up, a few decorations are around, but not one item is "move" ready. It'll be fine, right?

To the fun stuff. We have finally settled on an apartment that we really like. I'll start with the pictures, and then get to the details. 

 Heath took these photos with his phone, so some might be blurry. This particular apartment is partially renovated. The bathrooms are not, but they are in good condition. 

 The bedrooms and really the whole apartment has tons of storage. These are the closets in one of the bedrooms. 

 The kitchen has been remodeled. Honestly, it was the nicest kitchen we had seen all day. 

 I think this is the master bedroom. Notice the A/C in the corner. This was a big bonus for Heath. 

 Hallway.

 Another bathroom. Bidet, anyone? Interesting information: Because of all the millions of people, and a not so great infrastructure, the plumbing system doesn't really tolerate toilet paper. So, the idea is to not flush the TP. Hence, the bidet. Sweet dreams on the thought of mastering that!

 This is part of the smaller living room. I'm not sure if they refer to it as a TV room, but I love the views this apartment has. We are on the 4th floor, almost level with the trees. I love it!

Part of that other living room. I don't think the fireplace is functional. 

We looked at a lot of places. We even looked at an apartment on the 24th floor. Yowzer. I stepped out onto the balcony and thought there was no way I could live that high. This area has a lot of green space, and you can see trees out of almost every window. This particular complex has a pool and playground for the boys. During the week they even offer swim lessons. I heard that they even have some young guys teach soccer, I'm just not sure if Cayden would be old enough for that. After looking around, we also noted that there were several English speaking residents, too. Thank Goodness. Meu portugues e ruim.

Since we got back from Brazil, my mind has been in moving mode. As I mentioned, I can't pack anything, but I can make lists. Every item in our house has four possible places it can go. In our luggage, in the air shipment, on the container, or in storage. Every. Item. In. Our. House. From furniture to q-tips. It all has to go, somewhere. It's daunting. 

Then there is the task of loading up on items that are too expensive or unavailable and finding a place in the mix for those. Shampoo. Brownie mix. You know, the necessities. 

Up until now, we haven't said anything to Cayden about moving. I'm not sure how much he would understand. But the other day, I said something to him about getting a new house. Moving to a new house. He then started saying stuff about JeeJee's house. (Because JeeJee moved to a new house.) So I guess he has an idea about new houses. Well, since then, he keeps saying, "Move House." Not yet, buddy, not yet. I'm hanging on to these last days with all my might. 

The holidays are here, schedules are getting busy, and we are trying to squeeze in time with those we love. It's not that we are dying. But moving away from people who are within driving distance, and some that are within walking distance is a big deal. It's a huge change, and totally out of my comfort zone. Someone posted a passage from a devotional about New Normals. "New Normals are a test of our trust in the Lord. They are transitions we go through in life when we move into new seasons. Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland. Isaiah 43:18-19.

So, while I may not dwell on the past, I will definitely think of all those we leave here in the North. I will remember it all, but I will not let it sadden our days in Brazil. It's just a new normal, and I know we will have all kinds of stories to share. We will make our way!

5 Months

Beckham is now 5 months old. Which only means he's a month away from being 6 months old. Wow. He could actually start crawling in just a few short months, and then walking, and then talking, and the next thing I know he's 18 and going to college. UGH. Before I run off in tears, let's stick with the now. 

After he turned 4 months old, we started feeding him cereal. He LOVES it. I mean L.O.V.E.S. it! He tries to grab the spoon and feed himself. I think he knows that when I put him in the Bumbo, it's feedin' time. Disclaimer: Yes, I know that Bumbo's on the counter are dangerous. Just ask Heath and his experience with Cayden. However, I am always right there. It's not like I go off and clean a bedroom or anything. 

He's been congested and coughing lately. I took him to the doctor yesterday just to make sure it wasn't turning into anything serious. He's fine. A minor ear infection. He's pretty healthy otherwise. He weighs 17.13 now. We've moved to size 3 diapers and are in the 3-6 month clothes. 

One Week:

 One Month:

 Two Months:

 Three Months:

 Four Months:

And 5 months:

I love the look on his face. He obviously knows he's awesome, like we would question it?

Our Boys. We are two very lucky people. 

Sorry for the blurry photos, but this was too funny not to include. They were taking pictures pretty well. No squeezing or pushing, so cheers for us! Beckham then turned and latched onto Cayden's arm. 

 Cayden was outta there!

Beckham's current LIKES:

Cereal, Milk, his momma, Cayden, chewing on anything, the JumpeRoo, being held, his crib (thank goodness)

Dislikes: Clothes (he loves being naked), Sweet potatoes, long car rides.

Beck loves to watch Cayden. Loves. It. If Cayden is laughing, Beckham is laughing. If Cayden is running, Beckham is laughing. 

Sweet Baby Beckham - 

I'm loving this stage you are in. While you don't seem to want to sit on your own, you do love to stand and jump. I love that you love your brother so much. I can't wait to see how the relationship you two have develops. I hope that you are best friends! Thank you for being our sweet little boy. I am one lucky momma to be able to stay at home with you everyday!

Love~

Mom and Dad

This Guy

This post is all about Cayden. While I mention him in posts, I find that many of the posts are all about Beckham, and Cayden needs a little attention too!

Before my trip to Brazil last weekend, the longest amount of time I have ever spent away from Cayden was two nights. That's it. And that was a year ago. I missed him (and Beck) like crazy!!

We got to FaceTime a bit, so that helped a lot. I got home Monday morning, and pulled in the driveway. JeeJee opened the door for Cayden and he came running out saying, "Hug." And for the next hour and a half (no joke) he was in my lap, kissing my ear (because he knows it tickles me). Beckham was in the middle of a two hour nap, so it was nice to give Cayden a bunch of attention. 

We made a cake that day too! Who doesn't love cake? Cayden is really into helping, especially in the kitchen. If it involves "mix-mix" then he's the man for the job. Got an egg to crack? He can do it too, as long as you overlook the shells in the batter.

These days there are good ones and bad ones. "No" is becoming too common around here, and for a few days we were having some inspired tantrums. The ones where he just falls to the floor crying because you won't give him more Goldfish. Ugh. Thankfully, as of today, one hasn't made an appearance in a day or so.

These are pictures of his school pictures. Gone are the days with staged backgrounds, stuffed animals, or fake trees. He's cute. He looks like his daddy.

We've been working on saying two words at a time. It's hard. But it's working. Slowly. One thing that I've noticed is that he has started singing. Two weeks ago, if you would have asked him to sing, he would have said, "No!" Now he will sing Twinkle, Twinkle, Row/Row, and Jesus Loves Me. He doesn't say all the words together but he tries and that is success! Plus, is there really anything more precious than a kid singing Jesus Loves Me?

We don't listen to a lot of country music. But to save me from cartoon madness, I turned it to CMT today. Luke Bryan came on with some ridiculous song. Anyway, the very beginning starts of with some, "Uh, Uh, Uh" to the beat. Now, picture Cayden perched on the coffee table. Without missing a step, he busts out with the "uh, uh, uh." So cute. 

Current Likes: Anything Sweet. Subway. MDO. iPad. Cellphones. "Mater" Underwear. Cartoons (All of them). Being Tickled. Jumping. Millie. Painting. 

Current Dislikes: Rules. Guidelines. Shampoo in his eyes. Underwear that doesn't feature Mater.  

Family Update

This is a quick update on the whole family. Not that anything life altering is happening, just an update. 

Beckham had his 4 month appointment today. He weighed in at 16.12. Honestly, we thought it would have been more. Heath guessed 19. At the same age Cayden weighed 16.2. Basically, Beckham is just under the 95th percentile on weight and height (26.25 inches) and at the 75th percentile for his head. His allergies are better, but you can definitely tell when I eat something I'm not supposed to. Right now, his eczema has flared up. I'm not perfect. Sometimes I given in to temptation. We did try mixing formula with breast milk to trick him into drinking some...he's no dummy. So we continue to BF and I'm okay with that.

We had family pictures with Amber Lanning a few weeks ago, and we got the proofs back yesterday. I really love them. It's no surprise that I'm a sucker for family and kid pictures, and these did not disappoint. Once we get them, I will have them framed, so that they can hang in our new home in Brazil. 

Speaking of Brazil - Heath and I are making a trip down there to check out places to live. I'm excited to finally see it. Thankfully Heath has made a couple of connections down there, so we get the chance to hang out with people that actually live there. It will be good to ask questions and such. What I am not looking forward to is leaving the boys. I know they are in good hands. I know they will be fine, and that Beckham will not remember me leaving. But it is hard on me. So if you think of it - say a little prayer for those that are watching Beckham and Cayden, and for me!

I'm sure that Cayden will not have any fun whatsoever while we are gone!

Beckham is 4 Months Old

Another month has gone by, can you believe it? This month, especially in the pictures, you can tell that Beckham is starting to have more of a personality. I had a moment the other day where it struck me that this time I have with Beck, I didn't have with Cayden. By the time Cayden was 3 months old, I was back at work. I love getting to spend my days with both boys! (It's not all roses and rainbows, but I wouldn't trade it!)

Beckham's antics: What does a 4 month old do, really? He likes to be held, all the time. He does like the JumperRoo and his play gym on the floor. It's not something he'll stay on or in for a long time. I can usually put him in the jumper for 15-20 minutes. Long enough to get dinner started, eat some lunch, or do some other chore.

He can roll both ways - he just doesn't do it all the time. He is making more of an effort to reach out and grab stuff and he loves to chew his hands all. of. the. time. 

Stats: I have no idea what he weighs. We go to the doctor on Tuesday. I'm thinking 17+. He has moved up to 3-6 month clothes, and 6 months if it's Carters. Let's face it, no one wants to look like a sausage casing, so it was time to move up a size. He's still in size 2 diapers. They seem to be doing the job for now. 

Sleeping: He's a 20-25 minutes catnapper. Maybe once a week do we get a longer nap. However, he is in his crib and doing pretty well at night. He wakes twice, usually around 12 and 4. Yes, I nurse him both times. I probably shouldn't and really it's more of a selfish move on my part. He eats, and goes back to sleep. I'm in and out of his room in about 10-15 minutes. The good thing, and something that never worked for Cayden until he was over a year old, is that you can put Beckham down at night, awake, and he will go to sleep. He might jabber and squirm for a few minutes, he may even cry, but he will go back to sleep! Yeah!  

Here is the man of the hour! When I took his pictures, and the ones with Cayden I took 45, 34 of them were fantastic! It was hard to choose!

I just couldn't get enough of this cute smile! 

There was such a change from month 3 to 4. I know from this point forward he's just going to become more and more of a little man. 

Beck~

What a little ball of light you are! You smile easily, and laugh a lot. It truly is the best sound. You watch my every move, and I know that when I have to leave for an hour or more, you are not a happy camper. We have hardly been apart since you were born and I sort of love that. Not that I don't need a breaky-break every now and then, but it's definitely secured your place as my little man. Beckham we love you so much, and we are so glad that you have become the best - last addition to our family. 

Love, 

Mom and Dad

25 Things - More or Less

My birthday was yesterday. I'm 32. I told Heath that I really don't feel 32, and that from this point forward I was going to be 27. A year can bring about so many changes and 13 years is like a whirlwind. Heath and I will have been together for 13 years this November. We are different today, than we were then. For the better. Older. Wiser. Better looking. 

We also have two kids. That in and of itself is a miracle. 

So this post was inspired by Kristin, who was inspired by Us Weekly (I think).

25 Things You Might not Know about me!

1. I have a tattoo. I got it when I was 18. It's a tramp stamp. I have never once regretted it. In fact, I would probably have two or three more if Heath liked them as much as I did. 

2. I love pineapple orange juice. I prefer it to any other juice.

3. Jeans are a must have, never without them staple to my wardrobe. I try/do wear them year round. I have never been a dress girl. Or a girly girl.

4. Jewelry makes me uncomfortable. I feel awkward in it, and like every is looking and judging. Therefore, I don't wear it often.

5. When I was 10 I got a Barbie Fashion Designer toy. I loved it. From that point forward my dream was to design clothes. Obviously, that is not what I do now. But that dream manifests itself in other ways. My obsession with Project Runway. I never miss an episode. I also started watching Million Dollar Shoppers. Again, it as to do with fashion and clothes. 

6. I believe I can do anything. Especially when it is related to crafts. I took up knitting. I quilt. I cut giant letters out with a jigsaw. If there were a way to make money doing some of this stuff, I would totally do it. For now, Pinterest is my idea board. I don't think I will ever doubt my ability to do stuff. It's definitely one of my best attributes.

7. Independent. I like knowing that I can do it myself. This can be a problem when I truly need help. I have a hard time asking for help. 

8. Babysitters make me anxious. I have a hard time leaving small children with someone I barely know. We have hardly ever, maybe once, had someone that wasn't family watch our kids. When Cayden was little it made me have panic attacks thinking that he would have to go to daycare. Moving to Brazil - this fear is heightened. I'm sure that we will need a babysitter. I know that the Brazilian culture loves kids. But the whole process freaks me out. 

9. Books. I love them. Can't live without them. I always have three or four on my nightstand. I have a hard time relating to people who don't read. I even had a book blog for a bit. I'm nerdy like that.

10. Water. I will drink a ton of it, as long as I have a straw. The straw is essential. 

11. I have never broken a bone in my body. Ever. However, I have had two kidney stones which I feel makes up for this right of passage.

12. Hate. Snakes. Hate. Hate. Heath ran over one mowing a few weeks ago. I have yet to walk to that side of the yard. 

13. I'm a blog stalker. Big Time. There have been several situations where I have seen the people I blog stalk in public. I'm not star struck, but I think to myself..Wow, I know a lot about you and you have no idea who I am. 

14. I like to be inspired. A lot of my inspiration or desire to be creative comes from some of these blogs. There are people who can just create beautiful things, and it seems so easy. They have families and busy lives and are still able to carve out time to do these things. That inspires me.

15. I read books to better myself. Not because I think I'm a horrible person, but because we can all be better. A better mom, a better wife. I'm reading, "What's it like to be Married to Me?" It's a bible study about putting your husband first. It's definitely eye opening.

16. I find myself praying little prayers all day. To say thanks for Beckham napping longer than 20 minutes, for the beautiful fall weather, for help when I get frustrated and feel like I'm taking it out on the kids. It helps. A lot.

17. I didn't want kids. When Heath and I first got married, and even before I just knew I didn't want kids. I never really babysat, and didn't really like being around the small ones. But things change. God knows what we need, and I needed those boys. I needed to be a stay at home mom. Like I said, a lot can change in 13 years.

18. I've worn the same make-up since high school. Thankfully it's not blue eyeshadow, but still. 

19. I wish I had straight hair. I used to, until puberty. With both pregnancies I was hopeful that the huge increase in hormones would straighten this mess out. But no. 

20. I hate M&M's. Anything that is mostly chocolate. If it has stuff with it like nougat, caramel, etc. I will eat it. 

21. I love the beach. Love. There is not much that can top sitting on the beach with a good book. Before we had kids, I would pack 3 or 4 books to take with me. And actually read them all. 

22. I have had the same best friend all my life. Literally. We met in preschool. She lives on the other side of the US, and now we are moving even further away. Thankfully we have gotten quite good at keep in touch with each other.

So, I made it to 22. I'm sure there is more. Heath said I should mention that I was a yearbook nerd, or that we met working at the bank. All of that is good too. So another year is here and this year of being 32/27 is a big one, full of lots of changes. Who knows what next years 25 things will look like. 

Pumpkin Patch: What a Difference a Year Makes

Prepare yourself for picture overload. The thing about pumpkin patches is that they provide ample opportunities for photos of the kids. Now, I'm sure that many a wife has convinced her husband that it would be a fun family outing, in order to catch these moments. Heath knew what my game plan was. 

This was our second year to visit the pumpkin patch. Last year gave me one of my favorite pictures of Cayden...ever. And I was hoping for another one today. We met Mills and her family there, because it just wouldn't have been the same without them. 

It's crazy how much difference a year makes. They are getting so big, and I think it's hard sometimes for us to see that until we compare photos. Both Mills and Cayden were a little more willing to sit down for a photo last year...This year they were everywhere. 

Another obvious difference is the addition of Sydney and Beckham. We had to snap this photo quick because Cayden wasn't too jazzed about having Beck sit next to him. The pumpkin was strategically placed in order to prop Beckham up. 

They did have a fine time throwing the baby pumpkins. The whole time I kept thinking, "If you break it, you buy it." and whether or not it applied to the pumpkin patch.

It rained hard that morning, and luckily the Tractor Supply still had rain boots. They became essential today. Especially when these two found the puddles. 

Remember: It's all about the photo opp. We wrangled some pumpkins to create a seat for Beck.

Millie is much braver than Cayden. He would only ride if either Heath or I were with him. I think that if we had allowed him to go a second time, he might have gone on his own. Kristin was in front of Millie in another horse.

Never did they want to look at the camera and smile. Too busy.

Once the boots were purchased, the tickets bought, and the pumpkins paid for, it really became an expensive outing. That's okay. Cayden and Millie had a great time and it was worth it!